Ice Age 3

What a movie. It may be number three, but it still smells like number two.

Turning Ice Age into a trilogy was a big mistake! Ice Age one was brilliant, Ice Age two was decent and three is terrible!

In movie one Many was a lonesome stranger with a mysterious past, in movie three he is a Homer Simpson like ignorant father. In movie one Sid was a funny, desperate sloth who tags along with Many, in movie three he is a gender confused sloth who is trying to mother three members of a long extinct species. Diego in movie one is a ruthless smilodon (that's science talk for saber toothed cat) who's good side is exposed as he leads Many, Sid and the human baby to the rest of his pack, in movie three he is a reckless thrill seeker who only returns to the Herd when the gigantic carnivorous monster kidnaps Sid. Need I say any more? Whats that? I do? Alright then.

In movie one the plot was good enough to make anything scientifically inaccurate(of which there where few)so subtle that it took me years to notice them. The dinosaurs however, are way too much! They don't even look like real dinosaurs! They look like a paleontologist's drug hallucination! And why would a slow herbivore who is most likely really stupid be attacking a bunch of strange mammals( am referring to the scene when they all see the Dino-World for the first time). I think that's enough to lower the stars on this one...

Charlotte's Web (old animated version)

This movie is so whiny! Fern:"Papa! Don't kill the pig" Wilbur:"I don't wanna die!" These may look like reasonable things to whine about in type, but if you hear it in the movie you'll see what I mean. And most of the songs are cornball.

This movie is also based off a book. I don't mind movies based off of books if they are well-made, this however is terrible!

All in all, this movie is only good for keeping my little sister from destroying the house(and that's not even working anymore).

Diary of a wimpy kid

Oh my gosh! This movie makes me SOOOOO glad i'm not in public school!

This movie strikes me as a family comedy,(duh) in witch we follow the early middle school days of Greg Hensley a.k.a "the wimpy kid". For me, what makes this movie funny is that some of the exaggerations in this movie are probably closer to the truth than one would think. For example, the "Cheese Touch". The legend of said cheese goes something like this: apparently it came out of nowhere. It just appeared on the blacktop by the field. Then one day, some kid called Darren touched it (this is where some girl screams "Darren touched the cheese!") and everyone runs away from him. The only way to get rid of the cheese touch is to pass it on to someone else. Eventually, it got passed on to a foreign student called Dieter Muller. When his family moved back to Düsseldorf Germany, he took the "Cheese Touch" with him.....

I would be surprised if there wasn't some variation of the "Cheese Touch" in every public school(in this tale there is also a mention of "Radioactive Cooties" huh?).

All in all I liked the movie, except the awful big brother. Just because someone is an older sibling, does not automatically make them a total jerk!!! I am an older sister to two sisters and a brother. I am not a jerk, I play them and read them books of their choice when they are injured(or when they're not). I like to think of myself as a decent big sister.

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs

Wow, it's been a while since my last post. Anyway, I don't want to have to type Cloudy with a chance of meatballs every time I mention said movie, so i will just call it CWCM for short.

I've seen some pretty strange movies, but i'm almost positive that someone was on drugs when they wrote this one. CWCM is psychotic even by children's movie standards. Some of the scenes seem like they would be super scary to a kid. A great example would be the scene where after the giant roast chicken eats some guy, and then it starts to twitch like somebody with an Alien parasite about to burst out of their gut! I just put this on for my little sister Sadie. I'm sorry if it seems like this post was cut short, but I had to stop to help my mom with the Halloween costume and lost my train of thought. If you want a clip just copy and paste the following: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DRZLJzzHls Want another? Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8xFbWLUDoQ&feature=related I can't think of anything else to say. Honestly, what else is there to say?

Legend of the Guardians the Owls of Ga'Hoole

What a pleasure it was, walking down to the theater, eight pieces of a Hershey's Symphony bar hidden in my pocket, about to see Legend of the Guardians. After watching the before movie adds about various businesses in Angels Camp, Adds for new movies (including a 3-D Yogi Bear movie! Yes, a 3-D Yogi Bear movie,). And one short film starring Wile-E coyote, the Road Runner and Two government owned heat-seeking missiles, I was ready to see what Hollywood did with one of my favorite book series. My patience was rewarded with one of the most epic films since Star Wars Return of the Jedi! The CG used in this movie was exceptional, and in 3-D! The battles where incredible! You have not seen a battle unless you have seen armies of owls attacking each other in midair with metal claws! The parts in Slow-Mo that where inches away from the metal sheathed talons of the Pure Ones and the Guardians where very intense! But there is more to this movie than battles. The beginning scene in Soren's hollow when he was playing with his little sister was sweet. I bet my mom would have loved that part. There is also the scene where they reach the tree of Ga'Hoole and train to become Guardians. The whole movie was beautiful despite it being based off the first three books in the series. And as a bonus, there was Owl City music in the movie, and the Credits!

Happily N'Ever After

As the title may suggest, this is a movie where the "Happily Ever After" stories get turned upside down!I don't think this is "Cheesy", but this movie was most likely intended for a younger audience.

My little sister was the one who wanted this move, I just stuck around so I could have new blogging material. This movie had it's laugh out loud moments, especially when Robin saw the "Handsome Prince" and asked "Is that a man?" I'm not kidding! After assuring her that he is a guy she replied "Wow, I guess the Prince is a drag queen!" By the way, he wasn't dressed in girl clothes. It was just the hair. Another LOL moment came when Cinderella's stepsisters are arguing over who gets to use the perfume first,(each sister saying that she smells bad and thus needs perfume) then Robin came in the room right when one of the sisters shouted "I smell like a dead pig!" Though I had some laughs, I could never forget to poke some fun at a movie! The trolls looked like Smurfs on steroids wearing little rabbit ears! And of course there was (this being a fairy-tale movie and fairy-tale movies are automatically required to have romance) a cheesy romantic song in which the same line over and over again.....ugh! In case you are wondering, the line was "Do I get what I want, do I want what I get?" This line referring to the Cinderella's choice between the "Handsome" Prince who does the Prince thing (literally) by the book, and the dish washing boy who actually likes her. Blech! Big, big Ewwww! I really really hate romance mushy stuff, who doesn't?

The little mermaid

My God! I forgot how annoying Ariel's voice sounded! Oh, right......Movie review, not song review. My memory is a little fuzzy when it comes to the plot and stuff. So I will type the review as the movie plays(I put it on for my little sister Sadie). On the Storm scene......very dramatic...I like this part, the suspense! The ship is on fire and falling apart!!! I have to hand it to Disney, when they're not sexist they are pretty good! But Arel's voice continues to be super annoying! Oh God she's so girlie! Oooooh! Under the Sea! Awesome! The only song worth listening to in this movie! You know...I think this movie is the reason I think the Ocean is so awesome! The music is over, bummer. Sebastian is about to blow it(by witch I mean blab about Ariel in love with a human). He blew it. Her Dad just found her collection of people junk. Aw gees! Why does Disney have to paint parents as the bad guys? The part where the Eels tempt Ariel to come to the Ursala is pretty cool. Who ever did their voices s very talented! Maybe this movie isn't as bad as I thought. Come to think of it, I think the only thing wrong with it is the annoying voice of Ariel! The rest of the movie is great! Especially Ursala's musical number! Oh yeah, and the story is is based on an old story that was around for hundreds of years before movies! all in all this is OK. I'm not going to stoop down to making a negative review just because it's a Disney movie that's not The Lion King. By the way, sorry about the comic. I messed up with the uploading images and got that thing by mistake.

Clash of the Titans

Clash of the Titans, where do I start? First of all, this is the only movie that simultaneously felt like it was five minutes and six months. Secondly, why is Hades the bad guy? Sure he's the God of Death and the underworld, but that doesn't make him evil!!! Third, when Cassiopeia insult Aphrodite you'd think that the Goddess would take care of her herself, but noooo, Hades the GOD has to do a GODDESSES work for her. Come to think of it, none of the Gods besides Zeus and Hades actually did anything besides saying one or two things and sitting in the background. Also, the scene where they find the evil guy who tried to kill perseus when he was a baby, can someone explain how they went from a thriving forest to a desert without a tree for miles around? Finely, I know Zeus is a God, But does he really need a spacesuit?

All in all, not the best remake. Although I do think they made an improvement on the Pegasus, Medusa and the three witches.

Clue

A few years before I saw this movie I heard that It didn't do well in theaters, I feel sorry for those who agree with that firs audience.

This movie should be classified as a comedy/mystery. The beginning and the end where the funniest parts, especially the part near the end where the butler is running around the house explaining how everything happened while everybOdy is trying desperately to keep up!

Maybe the reason people didn't like it was the the multiple endings. I'm not sure how they played it in theaters but when I saw it I was given two options, to play the movie and see one randomly selected ending out of three, or to see the movie and at the end it would play all three endings in a row and say "That's what could have happened." and "This is what really happened." between endings.

All in all, this movie is excellent in my opinion, but may have been a bit to strange for those first few who saw it in theaters.

Delgo

This movie was strange yet enjoyable, almost. The plot was old and over-used, The animation was trying to be original but came off as cheesy(especially the "dinosaur people" and "Fairies") . The end was cut felt like it was cut short, and the bad guy who was stabbed in the chest with a sword lives to (unsuccessfully) attempt to kill Delgo and princess whats-her-name with an arrow.Why did the good guy who was shot in the side with an arrow die when the bad guy lived to be a bad guy? Why couldn't this movie have original ideas to go with the original(but still cheesy) animation? Somehow old plots with new graphics cheapens the whole movie even more than old plots and old graphics! It wan't even my idea to watch this. My little brother and sister were watching it and I was told there where aliens in it so I thought I could just stick around. And lastly, I can't tell if this movie was Sci-Fi or Fantasy.

Where The Wild Things Are

This movie is really,really,really weird. This is even weirder than The Imaginarium of Parnassus . I just didn't understand what the movie was saying. Was it trying to be sweet? Was there a moral? Is this movie just a make-of-it-what-you-will kind of movie? I'm competly confused! At first this movie looks like it's supposed to be sweet. Then it starts getting scary,then sweet,and back to scary. And also, I think that all of those movie writers out there are starting to run out of ideas. If you want proof, just look at some movies. First, they make Planet 51, a movie with the same plot as E.T. ( except a human is trying to go home). There are now countless movies that are just remakes of other movies or books on screen with a lot of tweaks here and there ( but the basic storyline is still someone else's idea). Now they are making Mcgruber into a movie! Come on people, show some imagination! Sure everyone likes Mcgruber, but it's a skit for crying out loud! I'm not saying don't make the movie, but don't expect any points for originality. In short, the wild things movie is weird, and imagination is dead amongst movie writers.

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

I didn't like the movie. Not one bit. When it wasn't boring it was confusing,and when it wasn't confusing or boring it was like some kind of twisted nightmare. I think perhaps this movie was aimed at an older audience. I don't have much else to say.

My little sister Elie says that " I didn't like the part where the man fell in a puddle and his face changed, I didn't like the part where the giant hand picked up the man and I didn't like the giant tack. I did like that daughter of the old man, the mirror and the old man." My little brother Izzy said "It wasn't as exciting as I thought." He did like "When he walked with the ladder,like stilts. And I liked the end." I didn't like anything.

As far as I know, my Mom has not seen this movie. Thus I do not expect her to post anything.

Fern Gully

I remember watching this movie when I was little. I enjoyed it then and I still enjoy it now. I like how both the main characters are completely clueless ( Zak being clueless about the rain forest and how it is important to everyone and Crysta being clueless about how humans communicate, thus she constantly misunderstands what Zak is saying). This movie has a nice moral to it, mixed in with catchy music, humor and the happy ending. In other words, I give this movie five stars.

Sherlock Holmes

The only word I can find to describe this movie is one simple two syllable word, witty. That's right folks! This amazingly fantastic movie filled to the brim with clever dialog, cold logic, heartless power hungry villains and a splash or two of smart humor, reduced to a single simple word. Witty. I cannot find any flaws except one small little speck of imperfection, Sherlock Holmes is smart...to smart. My friend James said, quote "If someone farted in a room Sherlock Holmes could find him." Oh, I almost forgot! As I was watching the part where Sherlock was explaining to Watson and Adler(Sherlock's girlfriend) the motive behind the murder ( the lion+ eagle+ox=sphinx part) I thought "Sheesh! Sherlock, you have to keep in mind no one else is as smart as you are. You are the only one who could possibly make these connections. These murders could just be a coincidence." Anyway. This is a good movie. I recommend it to anyone who likes to see cool ways of solving crime and incapacitating your enemies.

Planet 51

Since the last movie I blogged about was very good, I thought that it would be appropriate to blog about a cheesy movie now.

Why is planet 51 cheesy? You might ask, if you have seen it you might think it nothing more than a nice family movie to use to distract the kids wile you do some incredibly long and boring task that is very difficult to do if you are constantly distracted by bored whiny little kids. In that case you are WRONG!!! This movie is so cheesy that I am having a hard time even comprehending how bad it is! let me give you a list of the things that really got under my skin!

1. The "humor" was amazingly cheesy.

2.The plot was mindbogglingly familiar with that pathetic "human coming to an aliens planet" twist. Why pathetic? I see this as a sign that the movie writers were running out of ideas and one of them said " let's take an incredibly old and predictable plot that everyone has seen, tweak it here and there and make a movie out of it!" and somehow I get the feeling that that was soon followed by someone else saying "That is the perfect way to squeeze out what little money people have left into our bank accounts so I can finally buy all of those incredibly unnecessary and expensive things that I want."

3. I know that this is a bit harsh, but NOTHING in that movie was even vaguely scientifically possible! Examples: Aliens and humans speaking exactly the same language, An ordinary chemical space craft going all the way to another solar system in enough time so the astronaut wasn't dead by the time he got there,The atmosphere and gravity is similar enough to ours that an astronaut can survive without a space suit and the fact that the aliens were identical to humans in culture, language and are VERY similar to humans in physiology( think about it for a sec, how many different types of life could be out there and what are the chances of a species that similar to us?). To make a long blog short, I think this movie is worse than hot roasted poop! smell you later!

Avatar

I'm BAAAAACK!!! :D Yes folks I am SO back that I can hardly believe it! I am sorry for my prolonged blogging break. I will try to keep on schedule in the future. Okay down to business.

Avatar (as you may have noticed) has now beaten Titanic as the #1 Movie, in my opinion Avatar deserved it! Avatar is without doubt the best alien/adventure/action movie EVER( and I saw it in 3-D)!!! I absolutely loved the part where Jake Sully and Neytiri are flying together on the Ikrans(those giant pterodactyl looking things).A few other things I liked about this film are that the big greedy company battles nature and nature won,the scientists are constantly feuding whith the soldiers and the plot was SO good that I didn't notice anything that might not be scientifically possible(which usually happens when I watch Sci-Fi movies. To make a long story short, I LOVED this movie.

Black Hole

Hello. Once again I shall review a movie. Today’s movie is Black Hole. In my opinion Black Hole is the corniest, cheesiest movie I remember watching! The spaceships, the robots, the battle scenes, the acting- almost every thing in this movie screams cheesy! This movie has many bad unintentionally laugh-out-loud scenes, why not make a list?

1. At the beginning there was a weird thing going on where the words Black Hole were on the screen while some classical musIc was playing in the background. It just went on and on and on. After a few minutes I just fast forwarded to the MOVIE part of the movie.

2. Once I finally got to the movie everything was already cheesy, especially the part where someone (whose name I forget) communicates with the robot via E.S.P and relays back to the rest of the crew the robot’s words, “There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but never are there old bold pilots.”

3. Most of the robots on the Bad guy’s ship looked like someone in a REALLY bad version of Darth Vader’s suit that was painted pink. My exact words as I watched the movie were, “Hey look, an army of Darth Vader’s girlfriends.”

4. After the evil robot was killed in battle, if battle is the name for one guy backing up and one guy moving forward while little balls of light wiz past, he just floated up and off the screen . When the crew of the-not-bad-guy-ship was battling the robots to try and save that Woman-who’s-name-I-forget from being turned into a robot I was thinking, “Why can’t she just stop whining and bust her way out of that tinfoil?” Yes, ladies and gentlemen, she was wrapped in tinfoil on a conveyor belt moving towards a beam of light. There is a whole lot more but I’m way over my computer time as it is. Just DON’T WATCH THAT MOVIE.

9 (2009)

Rory: One word just keeps coming to mind...Steampunk. Well, it is. The little guys are quite endearing. I didn't feel overwhelmed by this movie or particularily moved in any way, but I enjoyed it. I think I may have been a bit distracted and that didn't help much.