Journey to the Center of the Earth

Where do I begin with this one?

First of all, this is probably not the Journey to the Center of the Earth movie you are thinking about, I haven't seen the other one but I know that this one was Directed by T.J. Scott(only because I looked it up, I don't keep track of these things otherwise) and it's a terrible movie.

I have tried to read "Lost World" and couldn't get past the first page without almost falling asleep, I tried "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea" and I made it to chapter two maybe? I couldn't tell, a bunch of subs where sinking and maybe a sea thing was responsible. I expected the same result from the book that this movie is based on and named after, I now regret that and wish I had never seen this movie because it is a huge wast of time to watch and thus a waste of time and money to make.

You are probably tired of my lists by now. Lists are like the spark notes of my rants about bad movies, that's why I use them so much. Here's a list of why the movie stinks worse than a pile of feces.

1. It begins with obnoxiously loud pirate music playing while the camera with a yellow filter that's way too yellow pans over a table with a bunch of exploring/paleontologist gear(a compass, a telescope, rope, a journal, a pick, a fossil brush and a bunch of other junk) that apparently someone just dropped on the table without any thought on how they could use this table for anything besides being a place to keep a mess. Instead of doing that they could have showed the inside of a museum, a book on prehistoric earth, some articles, something that could give you a gist of the plot besides the fact that there will be exploring, there might be a cave and the main characters do not clean up after themselves.

2. We spend forever following these super boring people do something that has to do with finding this lady's husband when he's been gone for years. Eventually they find a guy that will lead them to the mine where the husband was last seen. Oh, and the guy who is leading them to the mine is the brother of the guy who lead the husband to the mine.

3. On arriving to the center of the Earth, first the lady drinks the water of the lake without any

concern for:bacteria, spores, dirt, or animal feces. Then again, this takes place in the time when bathes where considered unsanitary and tin nipples on bottles where thought to be good for babies. After making a quick observation that the water is "slightly warm and salty" she starts striping down and goes for a swim FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER! You said yourself that the lake was slightly warm and salty, for all you know that could be poison, bacteria or even urine. Oh, and since you also said that this place was unchanged since prehistoric times you might want to think about not feeding offering yourself up to any creature swimming around in the very big and deep pee lake.

4. When they finally find the lady's husband(I just remembered that his name is Edward) he acts like a complete A-hole to everyone because he's spent the last few years being God to a tribe of primitive people and hanging around with the priestess. Then when he loses his God-hood because he bled in front of anyone(if that sounded like I said he had a Period that's not what I meant, he got a minor cut on his hand)everybody has to abandon the center of the Earth even though the ex-God could have just talked to them and worked out a compromise(We will apologize then go away forever if you don't kill us).

5. It ends the same way it began. With obnoxiously loud pirate music and messy cluttered table.

The movie blows, that's what I'm trying to say. Also the only prehistoric beasts in the entire movie was a flock of pterodactyls and some giant tentacles I can only assume where part of a larger animal.

The Social Network

I liked this movie. I didn't understand the legal parts until after the movie ended and I had some time to think it over, but I still enjoyed it. It's kind of weird thinking of Facebook as something someone created relatively recently rather than just a convenient thing that has always existed and always will. Though the movie was inaccurate(says the Blogger who knows nothing about the origins of Facebook)it was still a good movie. Let me stress this: It was a good MOVIE, not: It was a very accurate documentary about Facebook and the people who created and helped make it happen. I could whine about how "The Directors made everything up" or something like that, but I won't. By and large I watch movies for to be entertained, no one ever said The Social network was a documentary. In fact, I looked up the movie on Wikipedia and the first line is: The Social Network is a 2010 drama film about the founding of the social networking website Facebook and the resulting lawsuits. Anyway, The Social network is a good movie. There was one part I found really funny(even though no one probably intended it to be). The part where they make a big deal about how Mark's friend made a chicken eat chicken soup and called it "forced cannibalism". I'm pretty sure no one shoved chicken down the chicken's throat, I don't think it even cared what it was eating just as long as it was small enough to fit in it's beak.

Hercules(saw it only because we put it on for my little sister)

I was going to do a review on "The Last Airbender" but this movie was so annoyingly stupid that I needed to say what was bugging me about it before I started ranting. The first problem that comes to mind is well, how can I put this? THE ENTIRE DANG PLOT!!! The plot is that Hades wants to overthrow Zeus(sound familiar?). When his chance to do so will arrive in eighteen years(the time when the location of the evil Titans is revealed)Hercules is destined to defeat him in battle. So Hades sends his minions Pain and Panic to turn baby Hercules mortal and then kill him. But then they fail to make Hercules drink the entire bottle of anti-immortality potion. Thus Hercules is mortal, has Godlike-strength and cannot return to Mount Olympus until he proves himself as a Hero. Does it sound like a good enough plot? Let me point out the big flaw. This flaw, to me simply jumps out of the movie and screams in my face "SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE MOVIE!!!"

Here are the two biggest problems:

1.The Gods want Hercules to come back, but he can't come to Olympus if he's mortal. The Gods are GODS! They can do whatever the heck they want! They could have made the world out of Jello and made Cabbage Moths the dominant species! Why can't the Gods turn one Mortal into an Immortal?

2.If Hades has some anti-immortality potion lying around, why doesn't he just slip it into Zeus's wine while he's not looking? It's simple logic. Like this: I have a sandwich. I am hungry. I will place a piece of sandwich in my mouth, chew and swallow. To make the hunger go away, I repeat step three until the sandwich is gone.

One last thing is bugging me, Hercules's girlfriend sounds like she has something up her nose. To listen to her voice is like hearing a screeching car in the distance only it doesn't ever fade away.